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Pop sent me this joke, I think it's very sweet...

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. (And a single red rose!) Marty sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty then looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shoppingญ. Love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son...what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door." "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off for you, you screamed, 'Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!'" A self-induced hangover - $100.00 Broken furniture - $200.00 Hot breakfast - $20.00 Red rose - $3.00 Two aspirins - $1.50 Saying the right thing, at the right time - priceless!

Executive Summary: A man was so f*cked up last night (drunk his ass off) but his wife didn't get mad at him because when she tried to take off his pants, he screamed 'leave me alone, I'm married' PS. My weight loss has stopped >_< For the past two days I'm not losing any! WTF now!@#$%*&! When can I wear the cheerleader outfit ???